Camping Real Adventures Part 3!

Hi my friends..... I am here to tell you about my final day of camping. I woke up, ate breakfast, brushed my teeth, fed the hippo, took a shower, ordered some Chinese food, and went for a hike with my mom and dad. They insisted that we walk around an entire lake. They said I was "scrawny" and "disappointingly weak" and that I could use the exercise. Then I got caught in this savage cannibal trap and taken to this village where I was put in a pot to roast. Then, Tarzan rescued me so I was good. We then continued our long trek around the lake. Mom said she had to use the bathroom, so we had to pull the car over and stop at the nearest Shop Mart. Then we continued our treacherous hike around the lake. When we got pack to camp, it was lunchtime. My mom has this really annoying new diet that she's putting the whole family through, so for lunch today, it was boiled pine cones, served with a side of fried tree bark. It was surprisingly AWFUL. Then, we went swimming in the lake. It turns out that this particular lake was piranha infested, so I'm just sitting there, when all of a sudden I feel this tickling in my pants. Then I screamed and ran away leaving my parents out there on their rafts. I heard these hyenas laughing and these ripping sounds. After we left the hospital, I got grounded for abandoning my parents in their time of need. Thankfully, It wasn't a computer ban. All I have to do is where my braces for an extra year. Well, stop by later and check out my hip new post!

The Billy Shop

Hi guys, my pal Billay' opened up a pad on the www. Its chock full of wizay' stuff. you can roll on your mad slippin' treads, an smack a homie dawg. Sorry if you didn't understand that, but I'm reading a book called, How To Talk Cool 1923. Anyway, Billy opened up a cool shop where you can buy some cool stuff. Check out his site to check it out. I bought the, Billy's Bear For Special People.

Camping Adventures part 2

So after that horrible day, it started to get worse. After I applied sun tan lotion to my whack the mole related injuries, I went to bed. The night was freezing, and I thought I heard something outside. "Mrs. Dogteth, where do we put the body! You never said anyone would get hurt in all of this!" "I know Rick, but I just couldn't let him get away with seeing that! He knew too much, it had to be done." "Well I still don't like it, said the man named Rick. "And I want my full share as soon as we.re done burning it!" "Fine fine." said Mrs. Dogteth. Now I thought Mrs. Dogtheth was smart, what with knowing all of that stuff about mammals, but talking about a crime right in front of a tent with a neon sign in front of it saying "populated tent" was just plain dumb. I jumped out of bed and unzipped the tent. There stood Mrs. Dogteth and a man I didn't know holding the dead body of a hamster. "Ahhh! someones on to us!" she yelled. Then she and the man dropped the hamster body and ran into the hyena infested woods. The hamster jumped up and walked over to me. I kind of liked the little guy, so I decided to keep him. Then he pooped on my hand, so I chucked him into the woods. I heard Hyenas laughing out there, and a bunch of snarling and ripping sounds. I slowly backed into my tent and went back to sleep. Maybe someday I'll post what happened the next day but probobly not. Until next time, this is Fred, signing out.

10,000th post!

Hey people! My blog just reached ten thousand clicks! I guess I will do something for you guys. I'll read you my A+ essay on mammals.

Hello, my name is Fredward Dixonly and this is my p.e. assignment on mammals. Mammals are the exact opposite of reptiles who lay eggs, opposed to the mammals, who lay baby's without them being covered in eggs. Mammals originated somewhere around 14 B.C. and were first discovered by Albert Einstein around 16 B.C. Unlike the reptile, mammals usually have three legs opposed to six. Some mammals, such as the platypus, can lay eggs despite being a mammal. No one knows why this is, or how it is possible except for our very own male health teacher, Mrs. Dogteth. She claims, that the platypus can lay eggs because it can. I strongly agree with her on this, and i think that goes for all of us. This concludes my essay on Mammals.

That was such an awesome essay. I got all of that info from Mrs. Dogteth herself. Ayway, my next post will be about other THINGS that happened to me while I was camping, so stay tuned.

My Camping Adventures

Hello Humanoids, my camping trip was (Oooh big surprise.) sad. First of all, my electronic up in 5 minutes self building tent didn't build itself! I had to sit there for hours trying to put it together without directions and then just randomly this bear/skunk thing came out of the trees and dragged me to it's nest. There it fed me to it's bear/skunk babies, and then I was digested and "recycled" by it's bear/skunk babies. I went back to camp to find my mom and dad in their tent playing wack the mole. They invited me to play. I played. My dad got drowsy and mistaked me for a mole. That mallet included in wack the mole is unusually hard. I'm too depressed. I'll say more words tomorrow.

Camping

Hello Cheeseballs. Today, I am going camping. There will be no computer, cell phone service, or any other modern conveniences. To go to the bathroom, I will just have to wonder out into the mosquito infested woods and find a nice quiet place. Don't expect me to post for a few days, because for reasons I have already explained, I can't. Also I finally managed to ditch those annoying jingle people. Well, until I get back from camping, this is Fred, signing out.

Halloween Costume

Hey guys! Most people think that when you get into middle school, you don't go trick or treating anymore. For me, that is not the case. This year I will go around as normal, dressed in my Prince Eltha costume trying to scare little kids and bring in hoards of candy! This morning, I went to check my costume out in my closet as I do every morning. When I opened the door, Mom ran out carrying a flamethrower. "Um, hi sweety, I was just, um, feeding the wombat!" "Oh ok mom!" She ran away. I looked into the closet. There sat my prized size 2 Eltha Costume, in tattered ruins. "MOM! I think the wombat ate my costume!" "We don't own a wombat dear." said mom.

So now I had the choice of either making a new costume or buying one. I think I'm going to make one. Maybe I'll be a cheese or something. Anyway come back in the next ten years or before to read my next post. Fredward! Fredward! He has a bi- Ahh! Stop following me you annoying people! No! I don't want to buy your jingle!